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Several times in previous posts I’ve used the term “conventional wisdom”, especially in reference to my following said wisdom and it being a negative choice.

The truth is that I’m actually angry and upset with myself. Angry that I listened to others for most of my life, and let them dictate my pursuit of my passion.

I have always had desires to learn languages. I constantly would think about what it would be like to know a foreign language. To learn how another language communicated ideas. To explore and compare the grammatical structures across languages. To even translate texts from one language into another.

However, these desires remained nothing more than wishful thinking. As a child I grew up believing I had to find another avenue to pursue in life. So I pursued other avenues. I pursued other areas of interest and ability. Yet all these other areas came up wanting. None of them fulfilled me completely.

About 3 years ago, after pursuing these other areas and realizing there wasn’t a perfect fit, the childhood desires arose again. So I started on my journey to relearn French. I concurrently started Spanish, for the first time in my life.

Yet I again listened to those around me, and let myself believe that I couldn’t juggle learning 2 languages. I dropped Spanish to focus on French.

Since then, I have started other languages, dropped them, and sometimes started them again. As I already wrote in a previous post, this year I bit the bullet and started juggling multiple languages.

As I mentioned already, I’m angry with myself. I’m angry because I listened to other people instead of myself. I didn’t trust myself enough, neither as child, nor 3 years ago, to attempt what was on my heart. I didn’t believe in myself enough to continue pursuing my desires until my current abilities matched my desires.

Today, and going forward, all of that ends.